May 05, 2006

Organized, Detail-Oriented College Grad Seeks Escape from Abbadon

Looking for a new job is really frustrating, particularly when you have two pretty useless degrees and you want out of your current position, like, now. It�s also difficult to conduct a job search when you have zero focus and a desire to make a major change in your life. I�m thinking my current job-searching method � looking through craigslist, monster, careerbuilder, and hotjobs on a daily basis and seeing if anything looks interesting � is not the most efficient way to get out of my current hellhole. I just can�t seem to muster the energy to figure out what I really want, and that�s got me down. I�m having a crisis!

The current hellhole did, at least, up my raise a bit. My boss (hereafter known as �The Tool�) decided that he and the Managing Partner (�Lecherous Pig�) reconsidered my raise and decided on a more �appropriate" amount. I think that what actually happened is that Lecherous Pig sobered up the next morning and remembered that he asked me to sit on his lap, called me �stalkable,� and told me that he was upset that our relationship would have to remain �unrequited.� Um, yeah it will.

There�s just no amount of money in the world that can keep me working in this place. It. Just. Blows. Every day is a fucking nightmare, and my supervisor (I think I�ll now call her �Lipstick� for that particular frosty pink shade of unflattering nonsense she wears on her pursed, absurdity-spewing lips) is a harpy straight from the depths of Hades. The woman has no conscience � which actually makes sense, because I suppose that would require an actual brain. I find myself wishing physical harm upon her, and I don�t feel really comfortable with that.

Anyway � I�ve also been looking for federal jobs, since I do live right near our nation�s capital and all � but what a rigmarole THAT is. Federal job applications take about 75 hours to fill out, and the questions are totally vague and ridiculous. Good thing I�m an excellent bullshitter. Still, I feel like it is a futile effort, because I don�t see it being so easy for some random civilian to break into swanky federal jobs. There are a couple of Smithsonian jobs I REALLY want, but I�ve been told one really needs an �in� for those for sure.

At this point, I�m willing to do almost anything to get the hell outta Dodge. It would be really nice if someone would just pay me to sit around in the sunshine and read all day. That would be ideal. Anyone know anybody hiring for that? I�m wicked good at it.

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metanephros at 11:26 am

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