Oh, happy Meat. Oh, happy Soul. Oh, happy Rabo Karabekian.

June 05, 2006

Some stuff I learned this weekend:

If you�re all alone in the house, don�t watch �Twin Peaks:Fire Walk with Me� at 2:00 in the morning. If you do partake in this inadvisable activity, make sure your husband does not call you right after Laura dies and goes to the Lodge because it will freak you the fuck out and make you scream out loud.

When a recipe calls for 2 tablespoons of sesame oil, you probably shouldn�t oughta use 2 tablespoons of rice vinegar by mistake just because the bottles live near each other in the cupboard and have the same color caps.

If your 27-pound cat wants to lie on your chest and love you, no matter how much you dig the attention, you should probably get him off of you because he will render you unable to breathe.

If you�re in the grocery store, and there are two obnoxious women just standing there having a conversation in front of your Arnold Whole Grain Health Nut bread, and you ask them very politely to move 3 times, and they completely ignore you because they�re still carrying on about �Oh, only by the grace of Jesus Christ�� - the way you get them to move is to say �Perhaps by the grace of Jesus Christ you will allow me to get my bread.� You will get a really dirty look, but no one will beat you up, don�t worry. And you�ll get your bread.

Picking the husband up at Dulles Airport is not like picking him up at T.F. Green Airport in little Warwick, RI. Next time, we need to pick a place to meet in order to avoid 20 minutes of running around in circles looking for each other. Also, perhaps we should get cellphones. Or maybe not.

Don�t talk to my sister on the phone � at least, not if you don�t want to hear about why having babies is more important than graduate school and not having any money is �an excuse� for not having kids.

metanephros at 12:53 pm